Potty training is one of the biggest early childhood milestones. Not surprisingly, it’s also one of the most asked-about topics in parenting groups everywhere. This means if you’ve ever found yourself wondering when to start, how to handle this hurdle, or why your child will pee but not poop in the potty, you’re just one of many parents with similar questions.
The Potty School asked thousands of parents in our potty training support communities to share their biggest questions. After reviewing more than 380 responses, we’ve narrowed it down to the top 10 most frequently asked potty training questions. And, we have answers for you, too!
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Parents start potty training at different ages. You might find yourself trying to get ahead of the curve, starting before your child’s peers. Or, maybe you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum and have questions about whether it will be harder because you waited until it seemed your child was ready.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer for how to start potty training. For ages 0-18 months, elimination communication works best. You’ll tune into your baby’s body language when they have to go or use a signal that works, whether a sound or a hand motion, and you’ll provide somewhere for them to go potty when they make that signal.
Not all parents start potty training at this early stage, though. Even before your child starts showing signs they are ready, toilet training starts with a solid foundation. Things like walking to the bathroom, getting in the habit of washing their hands, or turning on/off the bathroom light switch all set your toddler up for success.
Once your child is ready, the best approach is to have a plan. Potty training doesn’t look the same for every family, so start with some research and pick a method that works for you. Use media like books or videos to get your child more comfortable with the toilet, have them pick out their potty chair or underpants, and keep the process positive. Potty training isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but with consistency, your child will get there.
Elimination communication aside, the general age for potty training is between 18 months and 3 years. However, remember that this is just a general guideline. Potty training is unique for each child; there’s nothing wrong if it takes some kids longer to get there.
To potty train with less resistance, it’s best to wait until your child is ready. They should have some way to communicate, be able to follow basic instructions (like pull down your pants), and show curiosity or a willingness to learn.
You’ll also need to be ready. Successful toilet training requires consistency, practice, and tons of patience. Be sure you’re in the right mind and that you have the time, so it’s easier to keep a process that can be frustrating positive.
Getting your child to pee in the potty starts with having the right tools for the job. You’ll need a potty seat so they feel safe on the potty, whether a standalone potty chair or one that sits on top of the seat. A step stool is also useful, both for climbing up to the big potty and washing his or her hands after they go pee.
Watch for signs that your child has to go pee. You might notice they pee about 20-30 minutes after having a drink or meal, or that they have to go 10 minutes after waking up. They might pull at their diaper or seem antsy if they have to pee.
For boys, it can also be helpful to make a game of peeing in the potty. Put some Cheerios in the toilet for him to aim at. If you have a little girl, having her teach a stuffed animal or baby doll to pee might make her feel more comfortable with the process. Remember that proper wiping is also part of the process, and incorporate that once she’s ready.
Last, when your child does try to go potty (whether successful or not), celebrate! Clap for him/her, offer a reward, or let them know they are doing a good job. This keeps things positive and makes it more likely that your child will try going pee in the future, without worrying about the results.
Even when your child starts successfully peeing on the potty, it’s fairly normal for them to struggle with number 2. The way their body feels when they have to go poop is different than when they have to pee and it doesn’t happen as often, so they might just need more practice.
If you pay attention to your toddlers bathroom habits, you’ll probably notice that they poop around the same time each day. Make note of this, and encourage them to try around this time. Setting up a step stool under the potty, so they can achieve a proper “squat” that helps their body relax, can also be helpful.
Outside of this, relaxation is important. Don’t hover, ask too many questions, or rush your toddler when they have to poop. Having a bathroom activity or reading a book can also be helpful, since it can distract your child from going poop and help them relax. Celebrate your child when they try, even if they aren’t successful.
Last, when your child has accidents, don’t make them feel ashamed or embarrassed. How you react in those moments influences how they feel about the potty training process. If you remind them that accidents happen and they can try to go to the potty next time, they’ll stay encouraged.
Handling potty training resistance starts with understanding the reason that your toddler is putting up a fight. Potty training is a big step, and your toddler might just be resistant to making that change. He or she could feel scared or uncomfortable, making it hard to relax and let go.
No matter the reason, you have to understand the “why” before coming up with a solution. Some kids are scared of the sound the toilet makes when it’s flushed or worried about it hurting, especially if they’re struggling with constipation. They could also be scared of the bathroom in general.
Start by making the bathroom a calm, welcoming environment where your child wants to be. Let them pick out their potty seat or decorate an area of the bathroom with stickers. Have a couple of toys or other entertainment that can relax them and provide comfort while they are trying to go. If they are afraid of something, work through it together.
If you’re worried about constipation or other health issues that make it hard to go potty (like UTIs), it’s best to contact your child’s pediatrician. They can make recommendations for dietary changes or other possible solutions.
When your child has a pee or poop accident, the first step is making sure they’re properly cleaned. Get your child involved in the process, including wiping themselves and helping with a clothes change. They realize that when they have an accident, they have to stop what they are doing at the time and be interrupted by this process.
It’s also important to keep calm and positive. Don’t make them feel bad about what happened. One technique that can be used for wet accidents involves teaching your child to hold their bladder. You’ll give them some liquids, then around the time when they usually need to go, you’ll have them sit in the bathroom. Before peeing, though, you’ll have them count or sing a song before they actually pee. This gets them familiar with what it feels like to hold their bladder, without too much pressure.
Potty training regression can also be frustrating. Your child was getting the hang of it, maybe even staying dry for weeks. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he or she is having accidents again.
The most likely causes are stress, changes in routine, or illness. It’s also possible that your child isn’t getting the same praise or attention as before, so they stop using the toilet to get that attention.
While frustrating, it’s important not to respond negatively. Your child might need time to adjust to the changes in his or her routine or the stressors in their life. Sometimes, returning to basics and sticking to a potty training schedule can help. If there’s an underlying medical cause, talk to their doctor.
While every kid is different, regular underwear usually works best for potty training. Training pants are very similar to a diaper. They feel bulkier and are made to absorb liquid, so it’s harder for your child to notice that they are wet. Regular underwear teaches them more what it feels like when they go pee or poop.
This doesn’t mean that pull-ups and training pants don’t have a role in the toilet training process, though. They’re a great alternative for outings, when you might not be as prepared to tackle the mess caused by accidents. Night-time training pants can also help with messes overnight. It’s fairly common for toddlers to take longer to learn bladder control at night.
Potty training is a little different for every family, just like the timeline. Some kids need 3-6 months or longer, while others might potty train over one intensive week or weekend of developing habits. Still, things like how ready your child is when you start, their age, and their personality all play a role. The approach that you choose and how intensive it is changes how soon you’ll see results, too.
Remember that some kids catch on a lot faster than others, and that’s okay! Often, if you try to force things, accidents or potty training regression can happen when you’re no longer focusing on toilet training as much.
It’s easier to handle potty training at home, not far from the bathroom or a potty training toilet. However, when you’re at the grocery store or out at the park, with the restroom much farther away, what’s the best approach?
Parents also need a potty training bag, or just an upgrade to your diaper bag. Things like a change of clothes, extra wipes, hand sanitizer, and disposable bags (for soiled clothes) are a great start. Be sure to pack a travel potty (or folding seat insert) and lots of patience, too!
Before (or when you arrive), be sure to scout out toilets first. Encourage your child to go potty when you arrive and get familiar with the facilities. Try to remind them periodically to take potty breaks, before they have to go now.
There’s also some potty training etiquette to keep in mind. Imagine your child is yelling across the park or blurting out that they need to go when they’re at a table - what words would you like them to use?
Last, remember to keep calm and praise progress. Accidents in public can feel embarrassing, but remember it’s part of the process. Stay calm and confident and don’t be afraid to have a script ready. Something like, “That’s okay, accidents happen. Let’s go get cleaned up!” And, when your kiddo does have a successful bathroom trip, celebrate! It only builds their confidence for more success in the future.
One of the most important and frequently asked potty training questions is: How do I know if my child is ready to potty train? There is no magic age when your child is ready and potty training readiness looks different for each child. Still, watch out for some of these things to make potty training smoother, for you and your child.
Your child should have some control over their body. Usually, being able to stay dry for 1.5-2 hours is a good physical sign. It’s also helpful if they can pull their pants up and down on their own.
Consider if your child shows an interest in others using the toilet. Do they seem emotionally ready to learn? Are they interested in doing “big kid things”? If they are, they may be more willing to try.
Last, don’t be worried about starting, stopping, and starting again. Some kids learn right away, while others need a slower, more gradual approach. Remember that trying to force potty training by starting too soon leads to frustration for everyone involved, and can make your toddler resist the learning process.
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You might be knee-deep in accidents and resistance, or just starting to think about diaper-free days ahead. Just know, the questions you’re asking are the same ones parents have been wondering about for generations. There's no perfect way to potty train, but with patience, the right tools, and a flexible mindset, you’ll find the approach that works for your child.
You’re doing better than you think, and you’re definitely not alone on this journey. Reach out to the Potty School for more support, wherever you are in the process.