Tips to Prevent Your Toddler from Holding Their Pee While Potty Training (and Release Their Bladder)

Why Won't My Toddler Pee in the Potty? Understanding the Holding Habit

Potty training can be a rollercoaster of emotions for little ones and their parents! One roadblock you might not expect is your toddler holding their pee and refusing to go. While this behavior may be surprising, it is relatively common.

There are several reasons why toddlers might withhold urine during potty training:

• Fear of the Unknown: Some toddlers find using a potty scary. The toilet can appear large and overwhelming, and the sound of flushing startles many young children. 
• Loss of Control: Potty training involves a shift in control from diapers to toilet use. Toddlers have very little control over most things in their lives. Resisting this change may result in holding their pee to exert some control.
• Discomfort or Pain: UTIs are painful; children who’ve experienced them may resist peeing due to a fear of pain. Additionally, children who’ve experienced discomfort during diaper changes may associate the toilet with pain.
• Constipation:  Constipation can also contribute to holding pee. A full colon puts pressure on the bladder, potentially making it uncomfortable for your child to urinate.
• Focus on Play:  Holding their pee might not always be intentional. Toddlers love to play and may struggle to stop what they are doing to use the toilet. Or they might forget or ignore the urge to pee until they wet themselves.

Tips to Help Your Toddler Relax and Release on the Potty

Understanding why your child might hold in their pee means you can work on a solution! Let's explore some supportive strategies and tips to encourage your little one to relax and feel comfortable peeing in the toilet.
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1. Create a Positive and Inviting Potty Environment:

• Fun Potty Time!: Choose a colorful and comfortable potty chair your child finds appealing; take them shopping to pick out their potty chair and make it an exciting experience. Add fun decorations and toys to the bathroom to make the environment more inviting and child-friendly. 
• Reading Time!: Engaging stories about potty training can help normalize the process and ease anxieties. While you read together, your child can also voice any questions or concerns about using the potty.
• Singing Time!:  Create a catchy potty song to make potty time more fun! Use a familiar tune like Old MacDonald or Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, and include positive action words in the lyrics like “flush,” “wipe,” and “sit.” There are several fun and unique ways you can create potty songs and lyrics with your child; Thinking In Education has several playful song ideas!
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2. Encourage Regular Potty Attempts and Offer Positive Reinforcement:

• Schedule Potty Breaks: Young children often need reminders to go, or they don’t recognize the signals their body is sending them yet. So, create a routine rather than relying on your child to tell you they need to go. Offer potty breaks every 1-2 hours, especially after drinking fluids.A consistent schedule will help normalize the routine of using the potty and reduce their instincts to golf their pee.
• Encourage Them:  Praise your child’s efforts for sitting on the potty even if they don’t go. Positive reinforcement and praise go a long way in encouraging positive habits in your child.
• Rewards:  Small rewards are another type of positive reinforcement that might help with potty training. Sticker charts are a standard reward system or have a small prize bin from which your child can choose something each time they use the toilet.
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3. Address and Eliminate Underlying Fears:

• Normalizing the Bathroom: Make the potty and the bathroom a friendly and familiar spot. Start by having your child visit the bathroom and you name the parts. Next, let them flush the toilet to get used to the sound it makes. 
• Pep Talk:  Talk to your child about their fears and anxieties. Tell them you understand that using the potty is new and that you are there to support them through this next big kid step!
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4. Promote Relaxation Techniques:

• Read a book or sing songs: Calming activities can help your child relax and release their bladder. Sing songs, read books, or do fingerplays. 
• Blow bubbles or pinwheels:  Breathing exercises relax the pelvic floor muscles, making it easier for your child to pee.
• A warm bath before potty time:  Sitting in warm water promotes relaxation and can encourage your child to release their bladder.
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5. Address Constipation Concerns:

• Offer a high-fiber diet: Constipation might be the culprit causing your child to hold their pee. To reduce constipation, include plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains in your child's diet to promote regular bowel movements.
• Provide adequate fluids:  Encourage your child to drink plenty of water throughout the day. Not only will water keep an active toddler hydrated, but it will make the urge to go stringer.
• Consult your pediatrician:  If you suspect constipation might be impacting your child's potty training progress, talk to your child’s pediatrician for advice and guidance.

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Additional Tips:

• Limit distractions:  During potty time, avoid using screens or playing games that might distract your child from attempting to go.
• Lead by example: Use the toilet in front of your child so they can see how relaxed and comfortable you are.
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Be patient and consistent: Potty training can take time; not all children take to it immediately. Stay calm, positive, and patient offering plenty of positive reinforcement and a consistent schedule and routine.